We always tend to forget who we are along th way. Thn it rly shows wht we're capable of, wht we bcome or th things we do, how we feel or wht we think. And its rlyrly scary, bcos these are all promises you made to yrself and now you broke thm. I feel so untrustworthy, lik to myself. I srsly dont trust myself anymore. But at th same time, I feel a hell lot more confident and happy thn ever bfore. Jus only whn something strikes me and it will bring me down.
Most time I jus pray, thn my friend told me tht one day she actually said tht she didn't believe in god whn she prayed so hard but she didnt get wht she wnted, but tht's whn lik she also realizes tht she prays only whn she wnts smth. And tht applies fr most of us. Bcos I certaintly feel th same and do th same. Damn rly stressed out lately I'm jus gna bury myself under my blanket.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I'm at my worst, I lost th person I truly love th most and it will nver be th same. And I'm losing th feeling of being at home, th feeling of secure and being safe and th pple tht cld understan and appreciate me cos thy hve to.
I think I'm losing Din. I'm losing it. Crying my eyes out by th thought of evrything, breaking down in th middle of th sidewalk crying hysterically thru th phone. God only knws wht I'm fighting fr.
I think I'm losing Din. I'm losing it. Crying my eyes out by th thought of evrything, breaking down in th middle of th sidewalk crying hysterically thru th phone. God only knws wht I'm fighting fr.
Monday, April 18, 2011
It's late and I shld sleep, I've been sleeping less thn 6hours evryday, screw myself and my new sleeping routines.
I am so tired and angry all th time, my brother say why i nowadays got lemon face, sour face ah, mrepek btol.
Fudgeeeeee, I wna go strangle somebody alrdy. I need Illi happy time. Always hve Illi happy time cos apparently I am one pathetic bitch. Kdah, story of my life.
I am so tired and angry all th time, my brother say why i nowadays got lemon face, sour face ah, mrepek btol.
Fudgeeeeee, I wna go strangle somebody alrdy. I need Illi happy time. Always hve Illi happy time cos apparently I am one pathetic bitch. Kdah, story of my life.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Time changes evrthing. Pple too. Changes how we think or feel about pple.
So, we dont remind ourselves wht we always used to say or wht we will bcome, we bcome. And I'm figuring things out and its taking a pretty damn long time, and I meet pple tht I cn land to and suddenly I feel light and its so addictive, I wna be with tht same pple again cos I wna feel tht feeling again cos it feels amazing and my insecurites are gone and I get so fearless I dont knw why it only comes whn I'm on my own but it doesnt matter cos once I'm on my own, I'll think about th wonderful stuffs and its all gna be okay.
But I feel safe and secure whn anyone understans, thy getaway but thy still remind me tht thy're here to stay.
So, we dont remind ourselves wht we always used to say or wht we will bcome, we bcome. And I'm figuring things out and its taking a pretty damn long time, and I meet pple tht I cn land to and suddenly I feel light and its so addictive, I wna be with tht same pple again cos I wna feel tht feeling again cos it feels amazing and my insecurites are gone and I get so fearless I dont knw why it only comes whn I'm on my own but it doesnt matter cos once I'm on my own, I'll think about th wonderful stuffs and its all gna be okay.
But I feel safe and secure whn anyone understans, thy getaway but thy still remind me tht thy're here to stay.
Friday, March 25, 2011
School's reopening lik a few weeks time and it sucks srsly. I'm too used to working and I still dont wna go to ITE and study tht course. Makes me all mad and sad whn days are getting nearer.
But I promised my mom I'll do better.
Anyway, I rly will miss my colleagues alotalot, I mean I've been hanging out with thm during my hols and th only pple in school I keep in touch with are Nuris and Farizuan but thy graduate bfore me. Hahahahahah, sucks in secondary school you tell me.
But I'm working on weekends, and aft school and I will be mad ass tired okay. I feel lik persuading my mom if I cld cut my hair again, so I dont hve to waste time. In th mean time, I do wnt my hair long. Din lik dowan only -.-" my hair my problem lolll.
Okay, I dont wnt go school ): I still wnt to work with Azura and take th 12noon break and stalk housekeeping guys and I wna work with Afiq and.. okay me and Afiq got scolding twice from making too much noise while working with him hahahaha but I wna work with him, and most imptly duh, I wna work with Dinnnnnnnnnn cos I jus wnt to.
But I promised my mom I'll do better.
Anyway, I rly will miss my colleagues alotalot, I mean I've been hanging out with thm during my hols and th only pple in school I keep in touch with are Nuris and Farizuan but thy graduate bfore me. Hahahahahah, sucks in secondary school you tell me.
But I'm working on weekends, and aft school and I will be mad ass tired okay. I feel lik persuading my mom if I cld cut my hair again, so I dont hve to waste time. In th mean time, I do wnt my hair long. Din lik dowan only -.-" my hair my problem lolll.
Okay, I dont wnt go school ): I still wnt to work with Azura and take th 12noon break and stalk housekeeping guys and I wna work with Afiq and.. okay me and Afiq got scolding twice from making too much noise while working with him hahahaha but I wna work with him, and most imptly duh, I wna work with Dinnnnnnnnnn cos I jus wnt to.
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